


Diagnosis: Screwed

by NympheSama



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Play, Anal Sex, Bottom Zane, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Gay, Gay Sex, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Idiots in Love, M/M, Multi, Oral Sex, Rimming, Shameless Smut, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:07:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26145376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NympheSama/pseuds/NympheSama
Summary: Tim is less than impressed when the doctor gives him some unwanted, but not unexpected news...But, on the other hands; having two husbands eager to make amends, might not be SO bad
Relationships: Zane Flynt/Handsome Jack/Timothy Lawrence
Comments: 3
Kudos: 13





	Diagnosis: Screwed

**Author's Note:**

> I had a real bad day but hey, smut makes shit better
> 
> Hope you all enjoy
> 
> x My love to you all x

**Diagnosis: Screwed.**

Tim shifted in his seat, pouting at the inescapable discomfort he felt; while Jack smirked at him from the opposite seat. “Stop it.” He muttered petulantly, flitting a childish grimace at his husband.

“What?” Jack replied innocently, though his smirk grew more pronounced at Tim's insistent squirming. “I ain’t doing nothing but waiting with you, make sure everything-”

“You’re _smirking.”_ Tim hissed, narrowing his eyes as Jack snorted and covered his mouth with his hand to hide his still growing grin.

“I’m  _ smiling, _ ” Jack countered, reaching across the small distance between them with his foot to nudge at Tim's playfully. “Like I always do, whenever I look at you.”

Tim scowled at Jack’s lopsided grin. “Stop being so  _ sickeningly _ sweet, I’m mad at you.” He grumbled, pointedly turning his head to look away from his lover… though he did not remove his foot from Jack’s playful nudging.

“The hell’re ya mad at  _ me _ for?” Jack demanded, his clear eyes sparkling with mischief.

“ _ Because this is all your fault _ .” Tim hissed, throwing another scowl over at Jack again.

“You don’t know that.” Jack countered, his grin all but splitting his face. “Could be something totally unrelated.”

“Like  _ hell _ it is.” Tim muttered, rolling his eyes and grimacing as he tried to get comfortable. “You and your damned… military precision…” he grumbled to himself, as Jack snorted and grinned stupidly.

“C’mon, TimTam…” he snickered, hiding his grin behind his hand. “You can’t say you didn't enjoy it at the time…  _ any _ of the times.”

Tim flushed with a pretty dusting of pink, his lips parting with a sarcastic rebuke, when a door opened a short distance away. “Tim McKenzie?” called a short, balding man with a pinched in face, his beady eyes looking around the waiting room with tired expectation.

“Uh, y-yes…” Tim replied shyly, biting his lip uncertainly as he pushed to his feet with a wince. He glanced at Jack when his husband came to stand beside him, his hand slipping naturally into his own and squeezing in gentle support. “We’re  _ so _ finishing this later.” Tim pouted petulantly.

Jack chuckled quietly and nuzzled Tim's temple softly. “Anything you say, TimTam.” He replied, holding his hand as they walked the short distance to where the short man was waiting to wave them into the small room he’d appeared from.

“Very well, then,” the man coughed as he closed the door behind them, raising a brow as he followed them across the room and noticed Tim's wince of discomfort as he perched on the edge of a chair. “How can I help today, mister McKenzie?”

Tim glanced at Jack, his stomach twisting uncomfortably as he licked his lips nervously. “Um,” he began uncertainly, taking in a deep breath as Jack squeezed his hand reassuringly. “I uh, I have s-some pain… c-coming from my, uh, well… my uh, ass…” he mumbled, his face flaming with embarrassment.

“I see,” the short man replied; Doctor Gaulton, Tim read on a small badge pinned on the breast pocket of his shirt. “What kind of pain are you experiencing, and how long has it been persisting?” He asked professionally, as Tim sucked in a deep breath and tried to push away his embarrassment.

“Um, only… only just over a day. It's like a kind of throbbing, but there's some spikes and sharp pains too, uh… mostly from my uh, my-my… prostate.” He said, biting his lip guiltily. Doctors always made him feel guilty of something; like enjoying life to the fullest. "I uh, I don't like to take risks with health, so I came straight away." He babbled, feeling like an idiot for being so unusually embarrassed. 

Tim squirmed uncomfortably on his seat, glancing over at Jack when he squeezed Tim's hand again, his thumb sweeping gently over the soft skin on the back of his hand; reassuring and calming… and mildly infuriating, if only because Jack  _ always _ made Tim feel horny, no matter how he touched him.

"Very well," the doctor replied, taking a few final notes and rising from behind his desk. "Let's take a look, shall we? If you could loosen and lower your trousers; and lay on the table, facing the wall, please."

Tim wrinkled his nose, glancing at Jack with a faint pout. "Hey, least I bought ya dinner first." He said, lifting Tim's hand and kissing it gently; releasing him a moment later so he could rise with another small wince and follow the doctor over to the table.

Tim sighed and rolled his eyes, grumbling to himself about dumbass husbands and their stupid egos, as he undid his trousers and carefully lifted himself onto the table, facing the wall as asked; before lowering his trousers to expose his ass.

His face flamed with embarrassment, not because he wasn't used to exposing his ass to strange men; his husband was the king of strange as a rule, but it was different exposing his ass to someone who wasn't about to stick their dick in it.

"Alright, mister McKenzie, I'm going to check for any abnormalities now," the doctor warned, as Tim nodded with unusual shyness, at the snap of a rubber glove. "There may be some discomfort; and I'm using some gel, which may be a little cold…"

Tim grit his teeth. Cool gel and a finger in his ass wasn't exactly that discomforting to him; but the fact it was a stranger? That was a little awkward.

Jack was right; at least he'd bought Tim dinner first.

He tried to breathe normally as the doctor's free hand rested lightly on his hip, his other hand smearing a small amount of cold gel along the crease of his ass, before pressing inside. He hissed and bit his lip; willing himself not to get excited at the intrusion. Jack would never shut up if he saw Tim got a hard on from a prostate exam.

"Sorry," the doctor murmured, thinking Tim had felt some discomfort. 

Tim almost laughed at the thought, except he heard Jack snickering behind him; so he promptly bit his lip harder and tried to ignore his jerk of a husband.

"You'll have to excuse me if I sound rude, mister McKenzie," the doctor said, his finger prodding gently at Tim's prostate, as he winced and shifted away in discomfort. "But, do you ever engage in anal sex?"

Tim flushed guiltily, burning with embarrassment as Jack barely covered a loud snort of laughter with a cough. "Um…" he hedged, wincing again as the doctor eased his finger from his ass. "I… I mean, a little..?  _ Ahem… _ "

"No need for embarrassment, mister McKenzie, I've seen much worse than an inflamed prostate in my days." The doctor chuckled, the first sign of any kind of personality beneath his cool facade. "Alright, you may redress and get down now."

Tim cleared his throat and pulled his trousers up, gritting his teeth as he tried; and failed, to hide a wince, before carefully rolling over and slipping his feet to the floor. "Um… inflamed..?" He repeated, his eyes narrowing as he glanced at Jack's smug face, who patiently sat waiting for him to return to his seat.

"Yes, I am afraid so, mister McKenzie." The doctor said, already typing quickly on his computer. "I shall prescribe you with an ointment which must be applied directly… I expect your uh," he paused, raising a brow at Jack expectantly.

"Husband." Jack supplied smugly, grinning lopsidedly, as he watched Tim perch delicately on the corner of his chair and reaching to stroke the back of his hand gently. "And I see where you're going here, Doc... I, the great and handsome lover that I am, can apply it for him."

Tim fought to keep the pout from his face, biting his lip with the effort as he attempted a nonchalant shrug. "I suppose it's the  _ least _ you could do." He griped snidely, pointedly not looking at his husband and pretending not to notice Jack's low chuckle.

"Alright then," doctor Gaulton said, tapping his keyboard a final time before a printer in the corner of the room began to whirl busily. "Apply twice a day for two weeks; and… I'm afraid you'll have to avoid any sexual intercourse until the end of that time. If the pain persists after that, please return and-"

" _ Two weeks _ ?!" Tim yelped, his eyes widening comically as he tried to process the orders which the doctor had given him. "You want me to  _ give up _ sex… for _ two weeks _ ?!" He demanded of the doctor, whose lips twitch as Tim whirled on his husband with a filthy scowl. _ "I told you! _ Johnathan Lawrence Flynt… this is  _ all your fault _ !" He fumed, gasping faintly when he shifted too quickly in his seat and a small jolt of pain shot through his scrotum.

Jack licked his lips, seeming torn between genuine concern for his husband; and endless amusement at his current predicament. "Well, I can't exactly help it if I take my duties in satisfying you seriously, can I, TimTam?" He finally asked, spreading his palms innocently as he tried not to laugh, his clear eyes lit with amusement.

Tim scowled at his husband irritably. "Stop saying sweet things, I'm trying to stay mad at you." He grumbled petulantly. 

Jack grinned smugly. "You know that ain't possible, TimTam." He chuckled, reaching for Tim's hand and lacing their fingers together. "Don't worry, I'll make it up to you." He promised.

"What, in  _ two weeks _ ?" Tim spat in disgust, shaking his head as he tugged his hand free with a sulky pout.

Jack lifted Tim's hand to his lips for a kiss, if only to hide his smirk. He was about to speak when the doctor offered the prescription printout to Tim. "Here you go," he said, rising from behind his desk. "Again, if the pain persists, don't hesitate to return and we'll book you in for some scans and some tests."

"Oh, I'm fairly sure it will be just  _ fine _ by then." Tim snarked, rising from his seat himself. 

" _ Ahem _ , yeah…" Jack agreed with a cough, fighting the amused twitch of his lips. "For a 'lil while." He added in a quick mutter, glancing away from his husband when Tim shot him a waspish look.

"Laugh it up,  _ Jerk-ules _ ," he hissed, narrowing his eyes. "I'm not the only one who  _ won't _ be getting laid for the next two weeks." He said childishly, scowling when Jack continued to grin smugly; even if he did try to hide it by keeping his face averted.

A weary sigh from the doctor made Tim blush with embarrassment. He cleared his throat and straightened, as he tucked his prescription carefully into his pocket. "Uh, thankyou… doctor." He coughed, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly as he turned away and stepped around the chairs he and Jack had occupied, taking his husbands hand without thinking when Jack opened the door for him. "This doesn't mean you're forgiven, asshole." He hissed beneath his breath.

Jack saluted with his free hand as he helped Tim pass him into the hall. "Wouldn't dream of it, TimTam." He chuckled, licking his lips as he finally allowed his grin to spread across his face. "Now, let's go get ya cute 'lil butt some nice cool ointment, 'eh?" He said innocently.

Tim sighed and rolled his eyes. "You are way too smug about this," he huffed, pouting as they walked down the hall to the main entrance. "Why the hell do I love you so damn much?"

Jack's grin grew, his clear eyes glittering with mischief as he held the front door open for Tim. "'Cause," he said, leaning closer so he could whisper in Tim's ear as he passed. "Ain't no one can nail ya like Handsome Jack can."

As Jack let the door close behind them, Tim felt his face flame; and yet... he made no attempt to deny his husbands crude assumption.

"I swear, you are the most embarrassing man to ever have to visit a pharmacy with." Tim complained as they walked through their apartment door an hour later. "Or the doctor, come to think of it… or just, to be out in public with  _ at all _ ."

Jack's grin was still wide across his face, his amusement palpable as a smug aura all around him. "I dunno what you're so sore about," he snickered, kicking the door closed behind them with his heel. "All I did was hold ya hand and make sure you knew how much...  _ I love you _ ."

Tim tossed a small paper bag onto the kitchen counter, turning to scowl at his husband in exasperation. "You spent twenty minutes talking to the pharmacist about erectile dysfunction." 

Jack spread his palms innocently. "Hey, that is an important topic of conversation! Better to be well informed an' all…" he said easily, brushing past Tim and quickly catching his cheek with a light kiss.

"Jack,  _ please… _ you've never suffered erectile dysfunction in your  _ life _ ," Tim scoffed, rolling his eyes. "The day your dick doesn't stand to attention; on command, is the day that hell freezes over." He snorted, shaking his head as he giggled quietly at his own joke.

Jack grinned as he grabbed a beer from the fridge. "Well, lucky for you, it's s nice, sunny and warm outside today." He said, winking as he unscrewed the cap of his and tossed it on the side, taking a large swig of the cool liquid as he waved a hand at Tim thoughtfully. "Though I know you might not be able to tell, being as you're all bundled up like an eskimo or something."

Tim frowned, glancing down at himself in confusion. "What are you talking about? I'm not… I literally have only a t-shirt and jeans on, how the hell does that make me an eskimo?"

Jack shrugged his shoulder and grinned over the top of his beer, taking a quick pull of the cool liquid before half turning to set it on the side behind him. "Well," he said, pushing away from the side and sauntering over to his husband, his hands rising to the waistband of Tim's jeans. "I mean, seeing as you're gonna be needing me to apply a 'lil some of this to the uh,  _ afflicted area _ , for ya… yeah, you're  _ definitely _ wearing way too many layers."

Tim's lips twitched with amusement, his irritation soothed by the ever present exasperation he felt toward his idiot husband. "Have you been having Vaughn teach you big words again?" He asked, his lips finally curling into a smile as Jack wound his arms around Tim's waist, his own arms rising around his husband's shoulders.

" _ Maybe… _ " Jack conceded, grinning as he ducked to shuffle his lips across Tim's throat, his stubble tickling the sensitive flesh and making him shiver. "You getting turned on by my  _ intuitive _ mind?" 

Tim laughed. "Maybe…" he admitted, shifting uncomfortably as his body did in fact, begin to react to his husbands idiotic behaviour. "But it might just be the thought of your finger in my ass, sometime in the next five minutes, as opposed to the big, smarty pants words." He teased, snickering when Jack surfaced from his throat and cupping his cheeks fondly. "Guess we'll just  _ never _ know." 

"Hmm," Jack smirked, leaning closer to tease Tim's lips with a soft, unhurried kiss. " _ Indubitably _ ."

Tim laughed, pulling away. "How does  _ that _ even fit in this conversation?" He snorted.

Jack shrugged his shoulder. "Did it work?" He asked, raising a brow.

Tim squirmed guiltily, hesitating as he took stock of his body. "... yes." He admitted petulantly, biting his lip as Jack laughed.

"'S all that matters then." He chuckled, claiming Tim's lips in a deep kiss which stole his breath and left the noiret dizzily clutching at his jacket lapels. "C'mon then," he said as he at last pulled away, his breathing heavy as Tim blinked at him dazedly. "Ointment, right?" He said, raising a brow innocently, as he grabbed the paper bag beside them and watched Tim try to catch up with him.

"Uh, right…" he murmured, clearing his throat as he shifted his weight awkwardly. "I mean, here..?" He blurted, as Jack barked with laughter.

"I'm not exactly opposed to a little culinary wizardry every now and then," Jack murmured, smirking when Tim's expression flit between confused, aroused and exasperated. "But I think, for this first time and all, you might wanna be laying down." He chuckled, playfully swatting the back of Tim's thigh; considerately avoiding his ass.

Tim frowned at Jack irritably. "I hate it when you do that." He finally announced, turning away with a huff and storming ahead to the bedroom.

Jack's smirk grew. "No you don't. " He chuckled knowingly, following after his husband dutifully.

Tim huffed and folded his arms over his chest as he stalked into the bedroom, pouting as he undid his jeans and kicked them off in the corner of the room. "I'm going to take a shower first," he muttered, dropping his underwear and t-shirt with his jeans.

"Seems kinda pointless if you ask me, but whatever ya want." Jack said easily as he entered the room, grinning as Tim raised a brow, before breezing away into the en suite shower room. "You're only gonna need another, after I get done with ya." He chuckled to himself lowly, once he was certain the water had started up.

Jack set the prescription bag on the bedside table, simultaneously shrugging out of his jacket and tossing it aside, pausing thoughtfully when he thought he heard a sound similar to that of the front door. He pulled off his t-shirt slowly, listening intently and picking up the faint sounds of approaching footsteps. He stepped back to the doorway, raising a brow as he poked his head back into the hallway. "Might've known  _ you'd _ turn up, just when the fun was about to start." He snorted, grinning at the figure who was sauntering toward him smugly. "When the hell did you get back?" He asked, stepping forward to wrap his arms around them tightly and capture their lips in a heated, relieved kiss.

The newcomer chuckled as he gently drew back, knocking his forehead to Jack's and sighing wearily. "'Bout… fifteen minutes ago?" He huffed quietly, grinning as he closed his eyes and inhaled slowly. "Was supposed to stick 'round an' clean up me gear, but uh… well, I was pretty keen on getting back, ya know..?"

Jack grinned and licked his lips playfully. "Oh, yeah?" He mused, flicking his eyes over the other man thoughtfully. "Well... I hope you haven't come rushing back, just in the hope of getting your dick into a certain, tasty piece of ass…" he teased, his grin growing as he glanced over his shoulder toward the end suite door, where the faint sound of singing could be heard. "Damn, Zane… he's gonna be stoked to see you, but uh, he's got a major bee in his bonnet, right about now…"

Zane's brows rose slowly, a grin spreading on his lips as he chuckled. "What's he done now?" He wondered aloud.

"Got himself an inflamed prostate." Jack admitted, as Zane barked a rough laugh, his eyes opening to peer at Jack with amusement. "He's blaming  _ me _ , but I hardly see how that's fair… it's not like I'm his  _ only _ husband that's so damn accurate." He snickered smugly.

"Ain't like he didn't enjoy the ride, neither." Zane added, winking as Jack laughed.

"That's what I said." He snorted, the pair of them chuckling quietly as he kissed his husband again.

"Jack?" Tim's voice called from the shower, drawing the pair to part. "Are you still there, Jack? I'm just drying off and I'll be ready…" 

Jack grinned, taking Zane by the hand and leading him into the bedroom. He stood Zane beside the bed, pressing a finger to his lips and winking, as he quickly opened the bedside table drawer and grabbed a small silk blindfold from within. 

Zane smirked, tipping his chin toward the en suite doorway in wordless agreement, as he began to peel his t-shirt over his head.

Tim huffed irritably as he finished drying himself, frowning down at his semi hard dick reproachfully. "I don't know why  _ you're _ getting all excited," he grumbled sulkily and wincing briefly when he bent to dry between his thighs. "Considering we now have two weeks of stupid…  _ celibacy _ ahead of us."

"Ya know," Jack's amused tone startled Tim, who yelled quietly as he rose too quickly and spun to find his husband leaning in the doorway, watching him with amusement and dangling something from his fingers. "Just 'cause ya gotta go without my, admittedly  _ brilliant _ dick in your ass for awhile, doesn't mean you can't have any fun at all…"

Tim pouted. "But I don't  _ want _ to go without dick in my ass…" he complained, sighing as Jack chuckled and walked over to unfold the gloomy noiret in his arms. "It's my favourite part…" he sulked petulantly, burying his face in Jack's bare shoulder.

Jack's chest rumbled with quiet amusement. "Heh, me too…" he murmured in Tim's ear, grinning at his husbands telling shiver. "But, just for now… why don't you let me give you a 'lil something special? Maybe give you a  _ new _ fave, huh?"

"What do you-  _ hey _ ! Jack!" Tim's query was cut short when he lifted his face from Jack's shoulder, his husband quickly slipping the blindfold onto his head and over his eyes.

"Trust me, TimTam." Jack whispered, his lips shuffling along Tim's jawline to claim his lips in a soft kiss which promised… a whole lot of things. Very  _ good _ things. Very  _ sexy _ things. Very…  _ very _ good and sexy things.

Tim whined softly as Jack pulled away from their kiss, his lips hovering before Tim's as he grinned and gently took his hands, backing away slowly to lead his now blind husband toward their bed; where Zane was already waiting, a silent, naked surprise for the noiret.

"Here… careful," Jack murmured, as Tim trustingly allowed himself to be led. "Sit... easy now, don't want ya hurting that pretty 'lil-"

"Shut up, Jack…" Tim muttered, his lips curled into a pout beneath his blindfold as he carefully eased himself to lay on the bed. He winced as he got comfortable, grimacing briefly, before Jack leaned over him to kiss him sweetly; distracting him from the inconvenient pain. " _ Mmm… _ Jack, what are you..?" He murmured, his brow furrowing above his blindfold, as Jack carefully lifted his hands; and bound them to the headboard. " _ Oooh _ , you're doing a  _ thing… _ " he breathed, his dick twitching with interest as Jack grinned and kissed tickly path down over Tim's neck and chest. 

"Only the best for ya, TimTam…" he chuckled, glancing at Zane slyly; who was watching him with burning eyes; his hand around his cock and stroking himself lazily.

"Don't you think you're going a… a little overboard here?" Tim demanded, his breath quickening as he strained weakly at his bonds. "I mean, I think this might be a little much for just… a-applying some ointment…"

"Hmm, well, first times are always supposed to be special… right?" Jack teased, his eyes on Zane as he grinned and nodded slowly, licking his lips as Jack's tongue flicked at the pert bud of Tim's nipple.

" _ Ah _ !" Tim hissed, arching off the bed toward his husband's tormenting tongue. "B-but… this is supposed to be applied t-twice a  _ day _ !" He protested distractedly.

"So?" Jack chuckled. "Just means your gonna get one hell of a wake up each morning..."

"Jack-" Tim groaned, arching beneath Jack's maddeningly teasing touches, his tongue tracing down the centre of his stomach slowly; but rising from his body before it reached the head of his rigid dick. "Oh… you  _ bastard… _ " Tim cursed with a rush of breath, biting his lip and trying to lift his hips from the bed to follow Jack, as he sat back on his heels and reached for Tim's prescription bag.

"Heh, always." Jack snickered, pulling out the ointment and tossing the bag aside. "It's why ya love me so damn much." He added, smirking at Zane as he shuffled backward a short distance further, before slapping his palms to the backs of Tim's thighs and pressing his knees back to his chest.

"Oh, god…" Tim whined, panting as anticipation sparked through him like lightning in his veins. "Oh god, oh god, _oh_ _go-_ "

"Heh," Jack chuckled, laying on his stomach and leaning forward to drag his tongue over Tim's ass, his eyes locked with Zane's as he leaned slowly forward. "You know it only goes to his head when you call him that…" he said, winking as Zane grinned and lowered his mouth over Tim's weeping dick, startling a gleeful cry from his unaware husband. "How many times I gotta tell you, huh? Just bloody well call him  _ Zane… _ "

"Oh my god… you  _ bastards _ ! " Tim gasped, trembling as Zane scraped his teeth over the underside of Tim's dick; while Jack gently eased his tongue into his bound husband's ass. "H-how fucking long have  _ you _ been… been back?" He panted heavily, straining upward against his bindings as Zane and Jack both teased his body with merciless, glorious rapture. "And h-how fucking long have  _ you _ known about it?!"

Jack hummed as he slowly retracted his tongue from Tim, his lips lingering at the wrinkled flesh a moment longer than was…  _ strictly _ necessary. "I dunno, how long were ya in the shower?" He asked, licking his lips as he reached for Tim's ointment.

"Aye," Zane murmured, flicking his tongue across the head of Tim's cock and smirking at Jack when the noiret hissed with surprise and arousal. "Jus' long enough for Grandpa to fill me in on ya, uh… 'lil problem 'ere." He chuckled, stretching himself upwards to give his husband a passionate kiss.

" _ You're _ just as much to blame as  _ he _ is…" Tim hissed as Zane retreated from his lips, his fingers trailing through the pre-cum which had gathered at the slit of Tim's cock; before he sucked them into his mouth, his eyes locked with Jack's as his lover grinned and tossed him a small bottle of lubricant. "Precise bastards…  _ both _ of you…"

"Ya say that like ya didn't enjoy every second of it, Bucko…" Zane whispered, his lips shuffling along Tim's jaw teasingly. "Like ya didn't  _ beg _ for more…"

Tim's body flushed with warmth beneath Zane's low whispers, unable to deny his previous pleas to both his husbands. "Yeah, well… doesn't mean you have to be so fucking  _ spot on _ all the bloody time…" he grumbled, sighing and shivering blissfully, as Zane trailed a lube slicked finger around his nipple.

"Aye?" Zane murmured, his lips dropping to Tim's shoulder, which he grazed softly with his teeth. "Grandpa, remind me of that, next time the 'lil Princess here is demandin' to be fucked harder, yeah?" He chuckled, closing his eyes as he bit his lip and slid a finger into his own ass.

Jack swallowed thickly, the ointment temporarily forgotten as he watched Zane tease his own ass open. "Hot damn…" he muttered, shifting across the bed slightly, so that he could suck Zane's neglected cock into his mouth.

“ _ Fuck _ ,” Zane cursed quietly, biting his lip and closing his eyes as he stretched himself and tentatively rocked his hips.

“W-what..?” Tim frowned beneath his blindfold, his face twisting toward them as he tried to peek at whatever they were up to without him. “Hey, what the hell are you doing? Hey! Don’t you bastards  _ dare _ leave me like this to fuck without me!”

Jack gagged on Zane’s cock as he laughed, drawing back with an apologetic grin as Zane hissed and thrust three fingers deep into his own ass. “Would we ever do a thing like that to ya, TimTam?” 

Tim scowled beneath his blindfold, straining against his bonds helplessly. " _ Yes _ ." He grumbled petulantly.

"Ah, quit bein' sore…" Zane gasped, grinning as he lowered his mouth over Tim's nipple and grazed the bud with his teeth. "Only happened the once… an' we more'n made it up to ya after…" he snickered, biting his lip as he removed his fingers from his ass and lifted himself onto his elbow. "Now…" he drawled, his lips caressing Tim's chest softly as he nodded discreetly to Jack; as he flipped the cap from the ointment and squeezed a small amount onto the tip of his index finger. "How 'bout ya keep nice an' still, like… an' let Grandpa make ya feel good, yeah?"

"Wha-  _ ah _ !" Tim gasped as Jack eased his middle finger into Tim's ass, teasing him open before inserting the fingertip with the ointment and carefully easing it deeper into his husband. " _ Oooh… _ " he winced, but sighed with relief as the cool gel met his irritated flesh.

Jack grinned and tilted his head back as he smeared the ointment over Tim's inflamed prostate. " _ There _ you go…" he murmured, watching intently as Tim's lips parted, his breath quickening as he arched gently from the bed. "Feeling better there, TimTam?" He chuckled knowingly.

" _ Ohh… _ " Tim moaned, intermittently hissing whenever a brief jolt of pain flit through him, before the ointment soothed the area. 

Jack's grin grew as he watched Tim's squirming increase, his finger still rubbing gently over his prostate. "Something bothering ya there, TimTam?" He murmured innocently.

"I… I- fuck," Tim breathed, tugging at his bound wrists helplessly. "D-don't you think this is… a little excessive?" He panted, crying out suddenly when and arching up from the bed, when Zane's warm mouth descending on his dick without warning. " _ Oh my god _ , you bastards… I'm gonna-  _ ah _ !"

"Heh, we're just making sure we take care of you," Jack said, waving his brows at Zane suggestively. "Making sure you don't feel no discomfort or anything... seeing as it's our fault an' all, right?"

"You're damn fucking right it is," Tim hissed, moaning lewdly as Zane pressed his nose flat against Tim's groin, swallowing his cock deep into his throat. " _ Fuck _ ! Godammit, fuck me, you bastards… I- Oh god,  _ please _ , you  _ can't _ just … you have to-  _ ooohh _ !"

Jack chuckled as Tim trailed off, first into incoherent babbles; and then into soft mewls and pleas. "Damn… I always loved hearing you beg like that," he said quietly, shaking his head softly. "But… well, I think we oughta give you a little...  _ relief _ , hey Zane?"

Zane hummed noncommittally, dragging his teeth slowly along the underside of Tim's dick, before reluctantly pulling away. "Aye," he rasped, rising to capture Jack's lips in a heady kiss, as Jack's finger dragged slowly over Tim's prostate a final time; before retreating from his ass entirely.

" _ Nooo… _ " Tim whined. "No, no, no;  _ Jaaack _ ..!" He complained, straining his hips toward Jack's retreating finger. "Don't stop, Jack..! Please, don't-"

"Easy, TimTam…" Jack chuckled dryly, licking his lips as Zane pulled away, his eyes bright as he shifted himself onto his knees. "We know what'cha need."

"Aye, an' lucky for me," Zane added slyly, grinning as he slung his leg over Tim's hips, while Jack quickly smeared lube over Tim's dick. "Just so happens  _ ya _ needs an'  _ mine _ ? They're pretty  _ fuckin' _ identical…" he hissed, as he shifted his ass to allow Jack to guide Tim's dick into him.

"Oh, fuck -" Tim's breath exploded from him in a rush, his heart racing as the warmth of Zane's ass encompassed his dick. "Bastards…  _ both _ of you, goddamn  _ bastards _ ! " He choked, straining at his bonds desperately.

"Heh," Jack snickered, licking his lips as Zane tipped his head back and hummed constantly, rolling his hips as he experimented; rising and falling slowly on Tim's hard shaft. "You know that's why you love us so damn much." He chuckled.

" _ Shut up _ ," Tim hissed, snapping his hips upward to drive himself deeper into his husband. "And get this  _ goddamn _ blindfold  _ off _ of me!" He hissed, panting heavily as Zane moaned and rolled his ass eagerly over Tim's dick, his pace torturously slow as Jack curled his still slick hand around Zane's cock and stroked him slowly; raising himself on his knees to devour Zane's lips in a hungry kiss.

"You look fucking beautiful like that," he breathed as they paused for breath, his teeth teasing Zane's lips when they parted in a blissful moan. "I can't ever decide which one of ya looks prettier when riding a dick…" he muttered, diving lower to attack Zane's throat with his hot mouth.

"Let  _ me _ fucking see, you selfish prick!" Tim snarled, tugging with futility at his bonds. Nobody broke free of Jack's bindings. "Goddamn it get this shit  _ off of me _ !" He demanded, almost pleading as he strained to try and touch his husband.

" _ Fuuuu- _ " Zane cursed, his ass hugging Tim's dick tightly as he rose and fell with increasing urgency. A litany of profanity fell from his lips, enough to make a sailor blush, Tim suspected; although the only reaction it caused among the three of them, was Jack's laughter.

Zane turned his head, twisting and ducking to recapture Jack's lips, stealing his hot and scratchy kisses from his throat. Jack's tongue was demanding; and for once, Zane was willing to submit without a fight. He moaned as Jack's hand squeezed his dick, stroking him perilously close to orgasm; and then stopping abruptly. "Fuckin' bastard…" Zane hissed, throwing his head back to the ceiling as Jack chuckled and shifted away, leaning on his elbow as he moved to kiss Tim. 

The noiret moaned, overwhelmed by Zane's ass riding his dick, by Jack's tormenting fingers, dragging themselves lightly over his skin; and by his husband's kiss, demanding, hungry and breathtaking, as always. "Please…" he whimpered, as Jack's lips shuffled across his jaw, allowing Tim to gulp several quick breaths of air. "Oh, please,  _ please _ , Jack… please-" 

Jack hummed dryly as he smothered the side of Tim's neck with scratchy kisses, his fingers toying with the blindfold string. "Seeing as you beg so damn pretty…" he chuckled, grinning as he eased the blindfold from his husbands eyes.

Tim's eyes locked onto Zane above him, his husband's face a picture of rapture as his skin slapped against Tim's, his lips curved into a wicked grin as he threw him a dazed wink. "Hey, Boyo…" he panted softly. "Kinda fun, comin' home an' gettin' to unwrap a present like this…" he said, smirking as he squeezed the walls of his ass around Tim's dick.

"Oh  _ god _ !" Tim hissed, his face twisting with pleasure as he snapped his hips up sharply, burying himself deep into his husband. "Oh, you bastard…" 

"Heh," Jack chuckled, kissing Tim's shoulder. "You're getting repetitive… ride nearly over already?" He snickered, glancing up at Zane and nodding discreetly.

" _ What _ ?! Wait!  _ Noooo _ , oh fuck-" Tim gasped, his eyes widening as Zane straightened and set himself to a quick, rough bounce. "Fuck, fuck…  _ fuck _ , no… please, not yet… not yet-" he gasped, turning his head toward Jack and gazing at him imploringly. "Please, Jack, please… let me go, let me… let…" he panted, closing his eyes as he cut off with a loud moan, shuddering and biting his lip as he groaned and helplessly buckled beneath Zane's determined pace. "Jack…  _ please- _ " 

"'S  _ my _ ass ridin' ya; an' ya callin'  _ his _ name?" Zane taunted, biting his lip and grinning as he tipped his head back, moaning quietly as Jack stroked his dick with short, rough tugs. "'S favouritism that, ya know..?"

"Shut it, ya dumbass." Jack snorted, rising to his knees as he stretched upward to silence Zane with a kiss. "Only favouritism going on here is your  _ ass _ favouring TimTam's  _ dick _ ." He snickered, before he thrust his tongue past Zane's lips, swallowing his moans as he scratched his fingernail over the bud of Zane's nipple.

"Jack, Zane;  _ please… _ " Tim pleaded, tugging at his wrists urgently. "Please, let me  _ out _ of this..!"

Jack huffed at Tim's pleas, pressing his bare chest snugly against Zane's for an intense heartbeat, before tearing himself away and lowering to kiss Tim just as deeply; his teeth nipping at his lips in silent rebuke. "You're such a goddamn brat…" he hissed at the noiret, reaching to release his bindings.

"Sorry, not sorry!" Tim gasped, his hands lunging to thread themselves into Jack's hair and tugging him down into another deep kiss; which was all tongue, teeth and silent, urgent demands. 

Jack groaned, pulling free of Tim's heady kiss to knock their foreheads together. "Damn… you're something else, TimTam." He huffed breathlessly, allowing the noiret another brief but passionate kiss, before he straightened. "Having fun are we?" He asked of Zane, his voice thick as he smirked at his husband knowingly. "By my reckoning, I think you're right about ready to-  _ ah _ !  _ Mmmmm _ -"

"How the  _ fuck _ have you managed to keep your trousers on this long?" Tim's outraged voice demanded, his hand rubbing at the prominent bulge of Jack's jeans. "Take them  _ off _ ." He ordered sharply.

" _ Ah _ , I-" Jack swallowed thickly, blinking dazedly as Tim palmed roughly at his contained dick. "... I was more focused on the two of  _ you… _ never seemed to find the time…" he said thickly, swallowing heavily as he snagged Tim's wrist and drew his hand away from his crotch. "Anyway, as fun as it always is to get my dick in ya somehow; pretty sure this rides almost over… maybe next time, TimTam…"

"Aw, can it Grandpa… stop bein' such a fuckin' martyr." Zane croaked, slowing his pace and closing his eyes for an extended moment; shuddering as his body calmed slightly. When he opened them again, he licked his lips and reached for Jack; his hands making quick work of his trouser fastenings and delving beneath his boxers to free his dick.

" _ Fuck- _ " Jack hissed, bucking into Zane's hand as his husband stroked him roughly.

"Ain't gonna take long, Kid…" Zane muttered, rolling his hips slowly, his ass squeezing Tim's dick and startling a choked moan from the noiret. "Open up for Grandpa, hey?"

Tim had barely enough wits left to throw his husband a withering scowl, snapping his hips upward roughly in retaliation and smirking briefly at his hiss of pleasure. "Contrary to your dumbass beliefs, Grandpa is  _ not _ as sexy as Daddy…" he grumbled petulantly, though he obediently opened his mouth and leaned forward.

"Heh, whatever ya say, Boyo..." Zane chuckled, his fingers digging into Jack's hip as he guided his dick to Tim's waiting mouth; the noiret moaning appreciatively as he tasted his husband’s pre-cum on his tongue.

"Shit …" Jack cursed, licking his lips and rocking his hips carefully, his clear eyes intently focused on Tim, as he sucked his cock hungrily. " _ Damn _ , TimTam…" he breathed, swallowing thickly as Tim flicked his eyes up to Jack's; his expression far too innocent for someone currently occupied with sucking dick. " _ Fuck me… _ " he panted, a shiver rippling up his spine as his long neglected cock was stimulated by his husband.

"Heh, next time." Zane whispered in his ear, his lips soft as they met Jack's briefly; before he leaned forward over Tim. "Hey, Tim-boyo… share with Daddy," he murmured, smirking at Tim as he flashed him an irritated look, though he ultimately relented and allowed Zane equal access to Jack's dick.

"Jesus…  _ fuckin'- _ " Jack blurted, gasping as his hands tangled in the hair at the back of both Tim and Zane's necks, his breathing irregular as he stared at his husbands; their tongues flicking at each other playfully, before continuing to trace along either side of his dick. " _ Bloody hell-" _ he choked, licking his lips quickly as the hot rush of his orgasm spiralled through his gut.

"Damn… well, if this isn't the way to live, I dunno what the hell is." He huffed, biting his lip as Tim peeked up at him, his cheeks flushed and his eyes darkened by imminent release. "Heh," he panted, releasing Tim and Zane as he instead reached to stroke his dick, batting their noses aside with a grin as he raised a brow. "Anybody wanna drink? It's on me… well," he chuckled darkly, his chest hitching as his thoughts clouded with a white haze. "'S on  _ you… _ but I'm happy to… provid-  _ fuck _ !"

Jack sucked in a sharp breath, his stomach twitching as his cock pulsed in his hand, spilling warm bursts of cum over Tim's lips. " _ Fuck… _ " he choked, rasping for breath as he squeezed and stroked the last of his his release from his dick; and then dropping back to his sit on his heels heavily.

"Mmm…" Tim hummed, licking his lips and smirking as Zane descended upon him hungrily, arching his back and grinding his ass down on Tim's cock as he devoured his mouth in a demanding kiss, eager to share the spoils of their husband's orgasm. " _ Ohhh _ …" he sighed, his fingers clutching at Zane's forearms as the other man's lips finally drifted down his jaw and throat, closing his eyes as he thrust upward in a rapid burst of haste. "Oh  _ fuck… _ oh god…"

Jack chuckled as he watched Tim's face range through various expressions, each more blissful and needy than the last. He glanced at Zane, hovering over the noiret and pressing his forehead to the pillow over Tim's shoulder; the pair moving with a clear, rising urgency. "There's gonna be no living with him, if you keep calling him that, TimTam." He teased, smirking deviously as he crawled around the edge of the pair, smearing two fingers with some of the lube which lay discarded beside them; before turning his head to watch the pair, as he slid both fingers into Zane.

"Ya fuckin' cheatin'  _ bastard _ ! " Zane hissed, growling as he bit Tim's shoulder softly. "I was gonna be last man standin'..."

"Heh, probably still gonna be…" Jack laughed wickedly, eyeing Tim knowingly, as he frantically squirmed and clawed at Zane's arms. "This just means I get to feel the both of you coming undone." He snickered kissing Zane's shoulder, as he locked his eyes onto Tim.

"... bastard… " the noiret choked, his brow furrowing as he tried and failed to resist the added stimulation of his dick by Jack's fingers. With a needy cry, Tim's body stiffened; and then his hands were gripped tight enough over Zane's ass that the skin beneath turned white. " _ Ohh _ !"

Jack grinned as he felt Tim's cock pulse and throb beneath his added touch, his release warm and sticky against his fingertips, as he slowly inched them closer to his goal. "Hey Zane," he snickered, grazing his teeth playfully over his shoulder. "Want a 'lil ointment ?" 

" _ Fuck _ you, ya bloody- ah!  _ Aaah _ , fuuuck-" Zane's cursing dissolved into a litany of praise and pleas as Jack first nudged and then massaged his prostate; pushing him the final short distance to the orgasm which he'd been resisting. Zane arched over Tim, the noiret cupping his face between his palms and drawing him to his lips, eagerly kissing him through his orgasm, as his cock pulsed and spilt his release between them. 

"Ah, nothing like seeing the two of you shooting your loads…" Jack snickered smugly, prodding his finger to Zane's prostate a final time, before trailing it slowly along Tim's dick and easing it from Zane's ass. "Well, except maybe how you both taste." He conceded, shrugging his shoulder before flopping down to the bed beside his husbands with a dark chuckle.

"You are the single most egotistical, sadistic,  _ smug _ bastard who  _ ever _ lived." Tim huffed, rolling his head to gaze at his husband; although he wore an adoring, if exasperated grin, rather than any kind of admonishing expression. " _ How _ ..? How did you get to be so goddamn self aware, confident and cocky?"

Jack smirked as he leaned closer, trailing his index finger along Tim's jaw. "It's a natural gift, TimTam…" he teased, grinning broadly. "What can I say? You make  _ cocky _ ...  _ real _ easy."

Tim snorted with laughter, shaking his head in fond exasperation. "You're impossible." He huffed, biting his lip as Zane shifted his weight and eased his ass from Tim's dick. "You  _ both _ are."

"Hey, I didn't do nothin' but show ya a good time," he laughed. "The hell am  _ I _ gettin' lip for?"

"Hey, if you rather; I can start working on giving you an inflamed prostate, like  _ you _ bastards gave me!" Tim groused, his eyes flashing with amusement. 

"'S how we show ya affection!" Zane countered teasingly.

"Yeah?" Tim demanded, narrowing his eyes and jabbing Zane in the belly gently. "Well I'm about to  _ affection _ your ass down the doctors… see how  _ you _ like having someone you don't regularly fuck stick  _ their _ fingers in your ass…"

"Heh," Zane snorted, his lips hitching into a lopsided grin. "Go on an' try it, Kid… I'll rock it like 's fashionable." He insisted smugly, throwing Tim a cocky wink.

" _ You're _ ego is just as bad as  _ his _ ," Tim grumbled, shaking his head and grinning as he was sandwiched between his husbands. "You're  _ both _ impossible."

Jack shrugged, grinning shamelessly. "Can't argue with that." He admitted, nuzzling at Tim's chest gently and covering the noiret's nipple with his hot mouth.

"Aye," Zane agreed lightly. "Ya got us there." He chuckled, leaning down to kiss Tim, as he gasped softly beneath Jack's teasing tongue on his nipple. "But… ya know that despite that, we're also totally devoted to ya…" he said gently, kissing Tim sweetly for a long pause.

Tim smiled as Zane pulled away, his eyes soft even as they sparkled with mischief. "Why do you think I put up with the pair of you?" He asked playfully, giggling as Jack dragged his teeth over the pert bud of his nipple. "Well, besides bang up applications of ointment, that is… kinda looking forward to the next one tomorrow morning, now."

Zane laughed, shaking his head as he buried his face in the side of Tim's neck, making him shriek with laughter until he and Jack deemed his cheek suitably paid for.

Until next time.


End file.
